The Age of Faces

OK, so I've started another blog.  I'm not going to share the address because I kinda want it to be like a private online journal, except I've put no restrictions on it so really, it's public.

It's quite liberating, though.  I'm incorporating this idea that was inspired by a YouTube video.  Some dude had a video that was basically a buttload of pics of himself, one taken every day for like 3 or so years.  It was pretty cool.  So I decided to make one blog post every day and include a pic of me from that day.  Like a visual journal.  To see how the events of the day have affected me, as expressed through my face... and to see how the impacts of those events accumulates over the years.  Not sure how long I will keep it up but I think it's a good process for me right now.   

Sketchy

Done in literally, 6 seconds.  Yet it oddly resonates with me.

Moods App

I just downloaded this app called "Moods". You pick a mood face like the one below, every day or whenever you want to make an entry. Then you can also enter a reason for why you feel that way.

It's an easy way to track your moods and daily thoughts without any pressure. It's just another step in my long overdue attempts at documenting my life, possibly for later analysis.

it's probably not as bad as it sounds...

Today, the weather is making allowances for what would otherwise be "unspeakable grief".  It is like a warm mother holding me in her arms and whispering "let it out, my child, let it out...".   And I really want to.   

I woke up this morning with a deep, dismal groaning inside me.  It roused me from sleep by twisting my guts with a slow and methodical pace.  I imagine it's the type of feeling one experiences when waking up on the first day after an apocalypse.   That hopeless desperation that chokes what should be a scream or a wail.  The aimless but frantic roaming of the eyes as they dart across as many points as possible looking to cling to the first thing that makes sense.

The sky is leaky and a monochromatic gray.  No matter how much it releases, it is still full.  Stuffed with fluffy matter stored up from an unknown place.  And I'm not certain how mine got full either.  But it is.  And it all needs to come out.   

But how?  Despite refreshing my approach to blogging, I'm still at a crossroads when it comes to displaying emotional vulnerability in a public place like this.  It's not to deny its existence because we all have it but there is a time and place for everything.  Maybe I'm just not ready.   But I will get it out somehow.   I have to.  Otherwise, it will totally demolish me. 

I'm also about three days away from the part of my cycle that begins and ends in bloodshed so I should probably factor that in, too.

Beef Stew: Accomplished!

Every "serious" blog post, I believe, should be followed up with one of little consequence.

With that in mind... I MADE BEEF STEW!  Yup, my mama's beef stew.  The kind I adored and would beg her to make when I was younger.  It was always such a long process and it would seem like she was slaving over it the whole day.  That could partly have to do with the fact that she had to use Vishnu like tactics to keep her 5 kids in check while concocting this meal but it was always well worth it.

So now I've officially made it and I have to say it tastes pretty darn close to hers.  She must've handed down some good genes to me.  Her detailed instructions didn't hurt either.

Thanks, Mom!  I love you :)

A Passing Thought about Shame & Money

I work with filthy rich people and modestly lower class people.  For the last week, someone at my job has had to take the bus to work because they can't afford to pay the mechanic bill and have their car released.

Meanwhile, there are VP's that have multiple houses, cars, children left unattended.  The American Dream, if you will.  And though they're easily making 6 figures, they try their best to stay grounded and in touch with "the little guy".  They do a decent job of it, too.  In fact, one of my bosses drives a Ford Freestyle that I have yet to see clean.  It draws little to no attention because it's not much to look at.  I'm sure this is intentional and is probably the least expensive of all his cars.  I respect that he sacrifices affordable luxury for utilitarian simplicity all for the sake of being more accessible.  I have even wondered if these financially blessed people are ever ashamed of their wealth while they are among the skilled laborers in weathered construction vests, or while talking to foreman who give off that special hint of something extra as they pass by. 

After thinking about it for a bit, I came to this simple conclusion:

People should never be ashamed of how much money they have or do not have.  What is worthy of their pride or shame is how they received what they have, be it riches or poverty.

Holy Smoke!

Don't worry, don't worry. I'm ok.

But geeez. Looks like the L O S T monster that we haven't seen in 3 seasons.

Best License Plate Ever

I was stopped behind this guy at the light when I did a double take!

It's the best license plate ever.  So friendly.  Got a rainbow, says "Aloha State".  

Then I realized he must've had his car shipped here.  Then thought of how rare this must be.  It's like finding a four leaf clover, or calling a support desk for an electronic product and NOT getting an indian person, or getting a cup of anything at Dunkin Donuts that's filled more than 3/4ths, or someone sending your lost wallet back to you (PLEASE! Whoever you are!).

Have any of you ever seen a Hawaii license plate, "in the flesh"?

An Evening with Poe

"Imagine a moonlit night, the towering pines surrounding Mount Hope cast a mysterious shadow upon the sandstone fortress.  An expressionless servant invites you inside.  The year is 1849.  While Walking one night through the dark and dreary streets of Baltimore, Mr. Edgar Allan Poe falls into a rabid coma and wakes to find himself, along with a handful of his most bizarre characters, in an Asylum in the South of France." 

That's the description of the "experience" (not show) as posted on www.parenfaire.com.  

While I wasn't completely teleported into the past, it was the absolute perfect night for such an event.  There was a torrential downpour earlier in the day.  The night was immersed in a frosty chill.  The sky, a deepest shade of "pitch".   And it was in Pennsylvania.  Though places ending in "sylvania" have their own variety of spook, this place has a unique way of keeping the past frozen in time.  It's eerily colonial.  

When you walk into the mansion, and you enter... an experience.  Immediately, you are encountered by the asylum "inmates".  They are in full, unbreakable character and pretty entertaining.  The "head nurse" takes your tickets with a mug like clay pressed with the Creator's hands to fit the part.  

The group is then divided into three parts and sent to separate rooms.  The first one we went to was for an enactment of "The Tell Tale Heart", by a female, surprisingly.  Her performance was amazing.   She kept accessing all of this raw emotion and it filled her face undeniably.  The rhythm of her passionate and crazed monologue was guided by precision and was more enveloping as a result.

Then we went into a room resembling a study where and OCD character recited Poe's "Berenice".  The prose was so wordy and long winded with a speedy execution that it was hard for me to follow.  The wine from dinner didn't help either, I'm sure.  However, I was overtaken by this guy's gestures.  I would not be surprised if he really had OCD.  His eyes also bulged randomly which lent to the characters awkward desperation.  Overall, a good job.

Lastly, we entered the room where "Poe" and an unnamed female character performed "The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether".  Their chemistry was entertaining and the sound effects were well timed, which always helps.  

Afterwards, some poems were recited.  One of the especially demented inmates performed "The Bells" with a strong variety of vocal tones.  For me, he stole the show.  He conveyed the downward development and increasingly haunting message of "The Bells" remarkably.  At one point, I thought he was... a bell.   

Following that was Poe's performance of "The Raven".   It seemed to be fueled with the inspiration of last performance of the season but more inspiring was what he said afterwards when he addressed the audience.  He thanked us for supporting the oral tradition and being part of its continuation.  He also encouraged us to reach out to others with it; to approach children and tell them a story or sing them a song or just share a joke because they will remember it and even if they laugh at you, they will appreciate it later.  He closed by saying -

"Be brave for them.  Share of yourselves.  They need you."

On the Road

We're on our way to meet up with friends for "An Evening With Poe" in Pennsylvania.

Review to follow.

Columbus Circle dot dot dot

Took this shot last week right before the Conor Oberst concert.  It was one of the only pics I took with my beloved nikon that night as I was forced to bring it to the coat check.

The short conversation between the security guard and myself went something like this:

*Warning: Slight exaggerations may occur due to memory loss.

Guard: "You gotta check that."

Me: "Check what?"

Guard: "That camera." (points to camera poorly hidden beneath my open hoodie)

(I fake shock because the lady 15 ft. away already told me)

Me: "But I don't understand, why can't I bring my camera?  I checked the internet and it said it's ok."

Guard: "The artist doesn't want any photos taken with those types of camera inside."

Me: "What types of cameras exactly?"

Guard: "You know, those.  The ones that take film."

Me: "Oh nonono, this camera doesn't take film.  It's just digital." (hey, it was worth a shot)

Guard: "Well, whatever.  He doesn't want those (points).  The little ones are ok, though."

Me: "So basically he only wants crappy shots of himself."

Guard: "Right."

Me: (not so under my breath) "Thanks, Conor Oberst."

So anyway, Columbus Circle is nice this time of year.

This is a shot I took after I retrieved my camera from the coat check.  A really lame way of "stickin' it to the MAN".  I'm so dangerous.  Please.  Someone stop me.

Oh, and this is Edie who made it all worth while. 

What In The....?

My buddy Jeremy introduced me to this page with bizarre vintage ads.   WeiRd.

What Goes On In Her Mind

Really, folks. She's not evil. I promise.

This Could Be Me

...if the text is the right size after my last tweaking.

Formatting Check

Is it large?

The only thing left to seal the deal is for me to find out if/how I can feature music on my blog.

Testing Mobile Uploads!

Seriously? If this works I will easily be persuaded to switch to blogger permanently.

Best case scenario - that the formatting will match previous posts.

OMG PUPPIES!

Thanks to my friend Edie I have now been watching this for the last...... 5 hours.  It just never gets old!

It's a live feed of these Shiba Inu puppies.  They are so awesome!  And when they nibble at each others bums? :faints from the cuteness:

Click here.

The Bubblegum Sequencer - Making Music With Candy

This is just so ridiculously cool.