04/25/1979

Forwarded to me by my good ol' friend, Deanage.  

(Thanks!  Oh and Roger just called you "Dean-o" and I pictured the Flinstone's pet!)

Enjoy....

Blah Blah Blog

I still have not emerged from my blog cocoon.  My guards are still up.  And I'm still making "safe" entries.  

It's about 12:30 a.m.  I'm cold but refuse to get up and turn the heat on or go grab a blanket.  I do this a lot.  It's a way of depriving myself as an expression of not truly appreciating myself. Simply put, I'm not important enough to get warm.  It sounds laughable to read and to write but it's true. And I really feel that way.  I'm also pretty lazy sometimes.  So that probably plays a part, too. 

There's a lot on my mind right now and I'm wondering if I should save it for tomorrow or let it out now while it's still fresh.  The age old question asked by my inner writer - will marinating in it make it better (like lemon chicken) or does waiting air out the fragrance of its essence (like car fresheners)?

It's ok to struggle WHILST making a post, right?  

"Muchacha" and I were having a very lively discussion today about Jesus' words in Matthew 5:23, 24 -  

"If, then, you are bringing your gift to the altar and you there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar, and go away; first make your peace with your brother, and then, when you have come back, offer up your gift." - New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures

It basically comes down to that right now.  So that's what I'm going to do.  

Make peace with my brother.

I promise, my blogs won't always be this vague.

LOST in 8:15 (Official Recap S1-S3)

* Spoiler Warning *

Hilarious, though.

Love

I just heard this quote today...

"Love - a urine mirage in a desert of fear."

Ayn Rand Phil Donahue Interview Part 1 of 5

As part of a casual discussion of the links between Objectivism & Darwinism, a friend of mine sent me this video of an interview with Ayn Rand by Phil Donahue.  (Thanks Darkus)

It speaks for itself.

I've read two of Ayn's books - The Fountainhead and Anthem. Both were very enjoyable and a quick read.  They also came highly recommended by some good people.  Like most things though, they contain truths and untruths.  

In theory, I agree with Ayn on the importance of having a healthy sense of pride in our accomplishments as opposed to fake humility or contrived self-depracation.   She takes it a bit too far, though, when it comes to her thoughts on God and religion.  I don't agree with her at all on that topic.  That part of the interview is in video 3 of 5 in the sequence which can be found on YouTube.  Phil provides a sharp and strong retort to her claims.  Definitely thought-provoking, to say the least.  I have a lot more to say on this, but I'll stop here.  

Enjoy

One Thing I Must Know Before I Die

(Originally written on 12.15.07)

I've always wondered why if new bulbs are put in at the same time and are of the same wattage, receiving the same amount of voltage, some of the lights in the letters of company names go out at different times.

Like tonight, we were driving in south jersey and drove past an O--I- E  D-pot.

Why does this happen????   I need to know before I die.

Let me know if you have any theories or plausible explanations.

Here is one from my friend, Tom...

"Simple...God doesn't like certain letter combinations. I mean, I'm pretty sure he likes all letters (except maybe Q), but we all have our irrational peavery. And certain neon schemes drive God bananas. It makes sense because he can see the whole world all the time, so those signs must feel like they're coming right through his bedroom window! I understand why he's upset."

What say YOU?

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So, yesterday was my 27th birthday.  January 4, 1981, I was born.  I'm not old enough to hide my age and not so young that I reply with fractions or round up and say "I'm going to be..." when people ask how old I am.

I don't celebrate birthdays, of course.  But the anniversary of one's birth has this naturally reflective quality for most people, including myself.  Some dwell more on the years that have come and gone.  And some focus on the untapped potential of the future.  I did a little of both yesterday.

When I was 15, I remember telling someone "I will die before I'm 25.  And if I'm not dead, I'll kill myself." *   My thinking was that I didn't really want to commit suicide, but I was "hopeful" that something would spur on my demise.  And if not, I would have to step in because who wants to get old?  

I was about 13 when Kurt Cobain died at the age of.. 27.  He quoted Neil Young in his suicide note when he wrote, "'it's better to burn out' than to fade away".  This profound statement captured how most young people view getting older.  Your skin loosens, things sag, hair grays, body stiffens, fears swell, bitterness hardens and you get really, really lame and out of touch.  That's how I viewed aging.   

Coming to my senses at age 19 shed a lot of light on my gloomy conceptions.   I eventually started looking forward to my thirties and saw it as a time when uncertainty is behind you, you've figured yourself out, and built up enough experience to proceed with method and precision into whatever you do.  You can meaningfully press on.

As you get further into "your future" one question in particular seems to swell and reverberate on each birthday - "What have I accomplished?"  But this time around, I don't really want to think about that because what I have accomplished is not as important as what I can accomplish or rather, what I'm going to accomplish... which is still undecided.  Actually, I opted to just wait for tomorrow so I don't have to think about it.  (haha)

Ultimately, the most important thing for me is to remove all the circles.  Those destructive patterns that creep into my life and surround me.  The circuits that thrive on repetition.  I fear that they get stronger each time I run the course.   And they're more patient than I am because they know I'll return to their familiar grip.

But it's 2008 now and I'm on the cusp of a new cycle.  I can see the crest of its waves approaching me in the distance.  And I've had 27 years to prepare for its arrival.

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* Is that unusual for teens?  I don't think so but my gauges could be off.  Now teens are learning to love their fleshly selves like rabid little dogs so maybe death is not the first thing on their list.  They'd much rather advertise tiny teen problems as massive despair to their friends to extract maximum comfort and consolation (attention followed by praise).  But I'll not go on that tangent.  Thankfully, I do know some teens who are exceptions to this rule (Linda, Sandra, Tiffany just to name a few).